she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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