When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
