Three words: puerto rican gang bang
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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