I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
