On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
sex in a hospital.. check
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
