Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
high people should be assigned attendants
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
