idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
