she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
