the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
