I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
More tranny stories later!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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