I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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