i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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