One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
