I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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