My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize