And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
