I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
