i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
