I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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