I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
