it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
