seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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