dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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