I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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