I got chris browned last night
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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