it wasn't lemon gatorade
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
