Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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