Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
