I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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