I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I could fuck to npr.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
