i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize