I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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