you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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