I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
