Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
