your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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