I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He did a backflip because drugs
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