There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
