I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So squirting runs in the family.
Houston, we have a blender
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
