Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
