Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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