My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize