So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
