the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
