did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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