Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
