i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
