Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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