Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
