i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
