Soap is not a condiment
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize