bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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