just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize