he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
