I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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