Did you just see the Batmobile???
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
