His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
