I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
