Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
