So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
