im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
