I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
