Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize