About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
