I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
