The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
