that's an acceptable place to lick
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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