He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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