No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
